I'm a semi-reg. reader of the kindly dr's wkly online col.(rosemond.com). To believe his detractors, you'd think Dr.R. suggested acoutering oneself w/ jackboots, a monacle, & a riding crop, & let fly w/ the leather at the sligtest provocation. I won't turn this into an editorial on spanking, although I'm not opposed to the practice in limited circumstances/amts.
It's unfair to take 1% of what the man says, & ignore the other 99%. For that matter, his website has "Position Statement on Spanking" (google the phrase exactly). As an observer of human behavior, I could supply one w/ more instances of parents at McD's being unable to get their children to leave the vid.games to come to the table to fill a book itself: "Come 'n eat, Brandon. Brandon? NOW. NOW, Brandon. Brandon? ONE. ONE, Brandon. Brandon? ONE. Why don't you listen? If you don't come & eat, you can't drive when you're 16...". When my dad said to come & eat, we did. When my step-dad said it, we did it quickly.
Kids're happier when the pilot flying the plane that is their life can get them from A to B w/ skill & confidence, which doesn't happen w/a modern "consensus-seeking" pilot who keeps running back to the passenger cabin to ask Brandon how they should handle the icing conditions ahead, then wait for him to decide based not on what's safest, but instead what screws w/ authority the most. Little Brandon has his worthiness as a human "affirmed" -- "just because he is". Now let's fly straight to our doom, w/ our ill-considered principles intact. He's the little twerp in the booth next to me who ruins dinner for 20 other people while he expresses himself. Isn't he presh-usss? He's more precious than citizenship, civility, or anyone else's desire to be treated as they treat their fellow diners.
Which situation uses up all the oxygen for happiness instead for protracted, low-level hostility -- one w/ a dispassionate referee who sees all, knows what constitutes an infraction, calls them instantly(no eye contact), assesses a pentalty & lets play resume immed'ly? Now imagine a modern physcho-babble ref' who'd stop play to resolve conflict, teach emphathy, & appeal to the smirking offender's sense of humanity to change his behavior, because there's good in us all... You'd have bedlam, & bedlam is what I see routinely at McD's including one mother who couldn't demand/plead/beg/threaten/reason her $18 SuperCuts-coiffed botique-brat to come & eat his melting ice-cream cone, so SHE took it over to HIM & followed 'im around holding it while he ate & ignored her!! Training has taken place, & his mother's well-trained. Imagine this kid 4' taller, & 130lbs heavier. Remember: it's the baby elephant w/the iron chain around one leg, & the mother elephant tied w/rope she could easily break. One tries repeatedly to break his restaint, & one's learned to practice restraining herself, so to speak.
Noteworthy: at this McD's, it's not uncommon to see Mennonite or Amish kids. If you swapped clothing w/ the OLD NAVY botique-brats & the "religious cult throwbacks", you could still tell 'em apart. The Amish & Mennonite are the happy, quiet, peaceful & serene kids I want to sit next to.
Dr.R.'s affirmation of limited use of spanking [w/"spanking" itself limited by his clear, restrictive def.] does not alter his message of traditional methods of authority & leadership instilling character instead of the modern wishy-washy, quest for "giving" un-earned & un-deserved self-esteem creating ultimately unhappy, bratty little tyrants with an over-developed sense of entitlement.
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